Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness

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Steven Magness is a performance scientist and executive coach, who specializes in working with Olympic athletes. Also it kept referring over and over to the book Why buddhism is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment (SPOILER ALERT no it's not true) - like why the heck do I need to know excerpts from this book! Steve Magness, a performance scientist who coaches Olympic athletes, rebuilds our broken model of resilience with one grounded in the latest science and psychology. He has coached seven athletes to top Top-15 finishes at a World Championship, twelve athletes to births on the World Championship or Olympic teams, and guided more than twenty-five Olympic Trials Qualifiers. There are lots of additional approaches (Buddhism for example) that readers may want to explore in addition to the helpful ideas here.

I use "yelling" in the colloquial sense here – talking down to someone regardless of volume; you can berate or chastise someone, in a low tone of voice, and be yelling. But if these superficial goals don’t resonate with your actual desires, you’re unlikely to meet them. Resilience is tied to low levels of denial and the ability to face fears—being able to encounter challenges, not through delusion, but with realistic optimism, the belief that it may be difficult, but we possess the skills to persevere.The existing model that has become ubiquitous in today’s world is this notion of pushing through adversities of extremes—forcing ourselves to endure pain and hardships. It was slightly athlete focused, however he does give examples from other areas so it’s still relevant for everyone. This was not the final Toughness Maxim in the book but like the first one that I quoted this one really summed everything up for me, “Purpose is the fuel that allows you to be tough. The ideas presented will move you away from “tough it out” and into tuning into your body and mind to make the hard decisions.

I have been a fan of Steve Magness' perspective on Twitter for a long time and respect how he spoke out against Alberto Salazar and left Nike back when that scandal was going down. What’s the X factor that allows one smart, innovative thinker to found a company or invent a product that makes waves, while their equally smart, innovative peer makes barely a ripple?Magness’ anecdotal advice, especially when they involve marrying ideas from Buddhism as well as self-help and discipline combined with basic biology, provide very reasonable guidance for individuals looking to better their lives, and confront reality on a more sound footing. It fails in the military, where the most resilient soldiers show high levels of emotional flexibility, and high levels of humble confidence. And fulfilling our basic needs helps not only with well-being, but also with the ability to persist. Disassociate through the easy parts and bank your mental stamina for later when you need to focus on the hard parts. Magness's outstanding critique of the traditional/harsh/calous view of toughness, with clear reasoning as to why it doesn't breed true success.